Christians in general will acknowledge the essential need for every believer to spend time personally in prayer and Bible reading. The value of congregational prayer is also well understood. But do we invest as much in family prayer? When John Brown of Wamphray wrote a book on prayer, he devoted a complete chapter to “The Necessity and Usefulness of Family Prayer,” arguing that we should treat family prayer as a non-negotiable duty which we must not neglect.

There are, as you know, various ways how the duty of prayer may and should be performed. Public prayers should be made in the church, while private and individual prayers should be done by each on their own. There are other ways too, either more formal (whether ordinary or occasional) or more exclamatory (whether mental or vocal). Nobody raises any doubts about either the lawfulness or the necessity of these kinds of prayer, even though they are all only too neglected by us all.

But when it comes to family prayer — that is, prayer performed by a family, as such, to God — not only is family prayer too much neglected, but many will actually argue that it is not necessary. They regard it as a piece of unnecessary devotion, if not something that God doesn’t even require. At the very least, they will satisfy themselves by reasoning that since it is not expressly required, it may safely be omitted, and treat it as indifferent, whether it is performed or not performed as they see fit.

I would like therefore to show that family prayer is a duty, required by the law of God, and consequently cannot ordinarily be omitted without sin.

Families are the most basic social group

All societies, as such, should be for God. They should intend His glory and honour, and exert themselves to celebrate His praises, so that He may be exalted in the world and His name made great. God has made man a sociable creature, and requires service of us as such. In that capacity — as sociable creatures — we are obliged to glorify our Creator, and worship Him, and serve Him, in all companies and societies we come into.

Families, as such, are societies, and therefore they should, as such, advance the glory of God by prayer and praises. The family is the first and most stated and fixed society that exists. If we are obliged to worship God in any society, then clearly we must do so in family-society. Indeed, the family is a society in which we have better reasons and opportunities to celebrate God’s praises, and have fellowship with Him by prayer and supplication, and indeed more frequently than in other societies, even daily.

Families share so many things that prayer should be easy

If members of different families have a duty to praise and pray to God together as occasion requires, then certainly the members of one and the same family have this duty too. They always have easier opportunities to meet together, they share the same reasons and occasions to pray, and they have experienced the same mercies which obligate them to praise God and acknowledge their dependence on Him.

Families have a relationship with God

If we consider what relationship families have to God, we cannot help seeing what duty they have to worship together. The Lord is the supreme author and institutor of the family. He is their preserver, nourisher and protector. All are of Him (Romans 11:36). All blessings are from Him (James 1:17). He is the Father of all (Ephesians 4:6). Families should acknowledge this, and live in a way which witnesses and confesses that they acknowledge Him for their Lord, supreme governor, preserver, and indeed their Father, by worshiping Him and praying to Him (Malach 4:6).

Families were made by God for His honour

God has appointed families — family societies and family relationships — so that He would be glorified by them. Flocks of birds and herds of animals preach the glory of God’s wisdom and goodness, in their kind, and why should not flocks of humans? They are after all rational creatures, created to gather in the rent from all the world, and should they not sing and set forth the praises of the Lord in a more articulate and rational manner, after their kind? Families, as little flocks, are more constantly associated together, and have their hearts and affections more united, and should they not worship God by singing His praises together? They can learn from the birds, who sing more cheerfully when they are together than when they are scattered apart from each other.

Heathen families worship false gods together

The dim light of nature showed heathens to think of family worship as a duty. That explains why, in their idolatrous and superstitious way, they had household gods, and household services and sacrifices. They knew that as God was to preserve and do good to families, and as families stood in need of favour and blessings from God, so they should, as united families together, in that relationship, pay Him due homage, and openly acknowledge their subjection to and dependence on Him. But Christians have the bright light of the Word! All their duty is laid out before them in the Word, in plain and distinct terms, and reinforced with more pungent and perspicuous reasons, and are they going to be strangers to this duty? Heathens will rise up in judgement and condemn families who were so ungodly as to treat God as if He was not the God of their family, and had not bestowed favours on their family, and did not concern Himself with what is done in families, and as if their families could exist perfectly well without Him.

Family members owe it to each other to worship together

The light of nature taught the king of Nineveh to call his whole city to the duty of fasting and prayer in view of the terrible warning of ruin they had been given, and to cry mightily to God if possibly they might be spared. The same light, now more clearly shining in the Scriptures, teaches fathers, and others who have responsibilities within the family, to do what they can (according to their positions and capacities) to advance God’s glory, and so call all under them, or within the family, together, to cry to the Lord with one mouth, heart and voice, both at ordinary and special times, and to bless Him for mercies and favours received.

Christianity teaches that heads of families should devote their families to God, consecrate them for His service, and (to help achieve this) act before them as a good example. They should call them together so that they can join together in the more formal service to God, so that they all together can offer themselves to God and His service. This is the meaning of the Lord appointing His people to dedicate their houses (Deuteronomy 20:5), as David did (see the title of Psalm 30).

Families can show their love to God by worshipping God

Neglecting the duty of family worship is inconsistent with the love to God and His glory which is called for from one and another. How can parents evidence that they love the Lord with all their heart, soul and strength, when they do not exert themselves, in their domestic capacity, to bring all under them with them to exalt the Lord together? The psalmist zealously invited all, even inanimate creatures, to join him in praising God! (See Psalm 69; 34; 106:1, 48; 111:1; 112:1; 113:1, 9; 115:18; 116:19; 117:2, 135:1; 146:1, 10; 147:20; 148:2–4, and elsewhere). Seeing how excellent the Lord was, and how little was all that he could do, he appealed for help from angels and men, and of birds and animals, from sea and dry land, from all creatures, rational and irrational, animate and inanimate!

But then you look at those who will not call their own children and their own family to help them, or join them, in celebrating God. Where is their zeal for the Lord of hosts? Where is their ardent affection for Him, and strong desire to have Him set on high?

God notices what we do in our families

The Lord is careful to have families kept in a godly order and walk, each in reference to each other, in their mutual relationships and duties. He gives the duties of the husband in reference to his wife, and the wife in reference to her husband, the duties of parents in reference to their children, and vice versa, the duties of masters in reference to their servants, and vice versa. These are particularly and frequently inculcated, as we see in Paul’s epistles, beside the special command in Deuteronomy 6:6–7.

What does all this mean? Only that the Lord wants families to be temples for Him to dwell in, or churches fit for glorifying Him, so that He would delight to dwell among them.

Additionally, all these family and mutual duties call for divine help and grace to carry them out rightly. Should we not pray as families for this? Family prayer is surely a suitable means to get grace for performing family duties. Seeing the duties lie on all the members of the family to one another, surely reason requires that all should join together in one body to lift up a prayer for grace and assistance, so that each would be helped to perform his or her duty to the other, and they to others, and others to God, so that God would be glorified by all.

Family worship predates church worship

From the earliest times, until the days of Enos, all the formal worship that God got was in families (Genesis 4:26b). We have no reason to think that this domestic worship was abandoned by the holy patriarchs once people “began to call on the name of the Lord.” Enoch walking with God, considered as father of a family (Genesis 5:22), is not consistent with neglecting family worship. Noah’s family must have been different from all the rest of the families of the world. When Abraham went with Isaac to Mount Moriah, he told his servants that he and the lad would go and worship (Genesis 22:5), indicating that worshipping with his family was no strange thing to him, otherwise his servants would not have understood what he meant.

When the Lord said of Abraham, “I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement,” etc. (Genesis 18:19), it indicated what a godly head of a family he was. Are we supposed to think that all this instructing of his family would be without family prayer? Surely it was part of instructing them in the way of the Lord, to instruct them how to pray.

When the Lord told Jacob to go to Bethel (Genesis 35:1), Jacob immediately got busy preparing his whole family for worshipping God (v. 2–3). The altars the patriarchs built were not for themselves alone, but for them and their families.

Families were important under the ceremonial law

Under the ceremonial law, families were to worship God. For example, eating the Passover, within their doors, was a piece of worship. When they were to go up to Jerusalem for the feast, their families still ate apart. Parents were told to instruct their families in various places in Deuteronomy.

Furthermore, the words of the fourth commandment are clear for families sanctifying the sabbath. All the members of the family are mentioned distinctly and particularly, and even the “stranger,” who is residing with them temporarily, is not omitted. The head of the family is specially singled out to take responsibility for this, in order to all the rest. All of them, as a family, and as related to the father of the family, and he with them, are to keep the sabbath day holy, as a family.

More of John Brown’s discussion of family prayer is presented in the pamphlet, “Suburbs of Heaven.” 

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